Technology and Relational Equity
Have we ruined our human credit score?
Relational Equity is the concept that each of our relationships has an unspecified return on investment capability. More specifically the idea that all relationships require a balance or deposits and withdrawals to keep all parties involved feeling the benefits of that relationship.
As the industrial revolution began to gain steam (pun completely intended) it became more common for creditors to lend against potential future earnings using company assets as collateral. Eventually, these businesses were able to extend this privilege to clients, consumers, and employees. As humans, we espouse a similar principle of “pay it forward” or the idea that supporting our community now will result in our community supporting us in our time of need. But what happened when we stopped making good on our word? And, even worse, what happened when we all decided that was ok?
In 1956 an engineer and a mathematician invented the FICO score as a method to “Improve business decisions by using data intelligently.” This was done by using a proprietary formula of evaluating several relevant factors including earning potential, cash reserves, income, and availability of assets. Businesses were now able to quickly and easily identify which people were the best return on investment and anyone deemed less than ideal was denied opportunities for funding, and eventually our relational equity became replaced by our credit score.
Individuals were no longer seen as members of our community working hard to provide for their families, but an overextended farmer one bad harvest away from foreclosure. Entrepreneurs were no longer seen as bold enterprising individuals improving their station but rather as high-risk investments that warranted extra collateral or interest. And often, those with the least amount of resources were the least likely to benefit.
When considered in terms like this it seems awful, dehumanizing, and demoralizing. So why, as a society, do we keep applying this model to our human interactions?
Customer service representatives are replaced by chatbots, salespersons are robocalling incessantly, advertisements are constantly telling us to “click here for info” and human resources teams not only rely on resume screening software but prerecorded interviews and AI to evaluate keywords and facial expressions.
To what extent can our connections be automated before the relational equity disintegrates?
Once people begin to feel like they are nothing more than a number, they see the business as nothing more than a soul-less entity and the humans that make up the soul-less entity are faceless individuals that are no longer worthy of social etiquette. Suddenly it becomes easier to delete unread (and generally unsolicited) email blasts, it becomes easier to hang up on salespeople, and most detrimentally, we start to believe the lie that virtual connection can take the place of human interaction.
When the majority of our communication within a relationship is done via text, social media, or other electronic platforms it no longer feels genuine. We no longer believe that Jake from the insurance company cares about our insurance needs because if he did he would answer when we call. Instead, after we make the effort to “call now” or “click here” we are redirected to a chatbot or receive an autoresponder message. In our minds, we made a deposit (the phone call), and internally we mark down their withdrawal, usually with a bright red pen.
But what about personal relationships? Certainly, the deposits we make in our personal relationships can withstand more frequent withdrawals, right? I would argue that the same rules apply to our personal relationships as well. The “just thinking of you” text that would have made your sister’s day 10 years ago now gets lost in a sea of reminder texts for doctor appointments, security verification codes, and tracking numbers for online orders. We get so accustomed to liking posts that we fail to realize we haven’t been in the same room with a person in several years, or that the kid that babysat “not too long ago” is graduating high school.
Each time we choose to connect virtually we lower the value of our relational deposits because the level of connection possible plummets when using a virtual medium. Very few people will discuss their goals and aspirations via text. Not a lot of people debating the value of morality in a DM. And almost none of us are comfortable expressing our deepest fears and vulnerabilities on our social media profiles. Yet these are the unique qualities that make us who we are. These are the things that make us human. These are the influences that often dictate how we show up in the world. How well are we really connecting without engaging these facets of our personality? How well can we really know each other if we rob ourselves of the opportunity to truly see each other?
Despite how this all sounds I’m not a Luddite and I absolutely recognize and appreciate how technology improves our ability to reach an unprecedented number of people. I also believe that with great power comes great responsibility, and if we are embracing the power to connect with strangers across the globe we also need to acknowledge our responsibility in cultivating those connections so that we can get the truest return on investment from them. Because as anyone that has shared a leisurely drink with a close friend or made their sibling laugh until the cried can attest, not all returns are financial. In almost every instance truly connecting with our loved ones or our teammates is priceless.
